June 5th, 2017 | By : TLC
Having an abortion is the most life altering decision a woman will ever make in her life. If you are thinking about having an abortion or know someone who is considering it, keep reading, as it may help. This is also a great opportunity for me to express my feelings and think about my abortions.
You may be thinking: how could someone get to the point where she is able to write about abortion or even share her story with others? Well, I reached a stage where I did not know how to cope or deal with anything. Opening my eyes in the morning was a struggle. Putting one foot in front of the other to get to the shower so that I could get to work was hard. I was so depressed over a failed relationship that I wanted to die. It was too painful to deal with every day.
I made a call to seek help. At that point I thought I’d lost it or that I was officially nuts! As time went by, I realized that it was the best decision I could ever have made. After five months of counselling, I discovered that my ‘hidden’ problem was the result of my abortions. Never in a hundred years would I have thought that this could be the source of my problems.
I have had four abortions – yes, four! I regret every single one. You may be thinking: how could anyone get herself into a situation like this four times? My answer is, being very stupid. There are so many regrets I’ve had, not just the abortions, but everything related to the abortions.
Each abortion was with someone different. This alone makes me sick to my stomach. The first abortion was very easy – too easy. Each time after that it just got easier to ‘fix’ the problem. Then I could move on with my life and never look back. I was never so wrong in my life!
Not until very recently, I came to terms with being irresponsible. This was very hard to accept and admit. I had to deal with everything on my own – I even considered every child to be mine and only mine. This has affected my life in one of the worst ways.
Having an abortion is not like going to school and failing a test, knowing you can do better next time or have a second chance. I never thought to educate myself before making the decision. I had friends and family who were my teachers at the time, who said: ‘It’s easy. Don’t worry, no problem. We’ll just get rid of them.’ Oh wow, what great friends I had. They would always be there for me. Wrong! I’m now wondering whether I had the abortions for them or for myself?
The most important question you need to ask yourself is: who am I doing this for – myself or everyone else? Remember one thing: You and only you have a baby growing inside of you. Therefore, you alone will have to live with the abortion decision.
Nine times out of ten, women make the decision to have an abortion out of fear. It’s not because they don’t want a child, but because they are afraid of what people will say or think. Remember, you will be left to deal with your decision on your own.
What I didn’t realize was that I gave up the opportunity to have a child – my own child to love, raise and take care of. Instead it was about everyone else and not me.
Abortion clinics make it too easy. Just keep in mind that this is their job, but at the same time, this is your life! I cannot stress this enough! They are all about security. When you walk in, it’s overwhelming. Everyone tries not to look at one another.
To keep your mind occupied, they have lots of reading material – how to protect yourself, etc. Lots of women – both young and older – are all there for the same reason. I can’t remember reading or seeing anything on what happens afterwards. Looking back now, that seems a little odd.
Think of an abortion as a death – only, it’s your ‘death’ and it’s for the rest of your life. You will always wonder what your child would have looked like, how old it would have been …
Please reconsider. Don’t go through what I went through.